Time to call in….

Mr Potts: Morning Barry, Morning Lorna and Gavin

Barry/Lorna/Gavin: Good morning Mr Potts

Mr Potts: I have called this meeting together because Head Office has sent us some consultants to work on efficient business process improvement. This is Mr Turnbull

Xavier: Call me Xavier please, thank you Mr Potts, and this is my team Bettina, Oliver and Sebastian. As Mr Potts stated, I am here to work on looking at processes working in your business and seeing if we can improve upon them to make them more efficient. What does that mean? I will speak to each of you in turn about what you do and you can tell me what you think can be done better.

Gavin: So are you just taking notes of what we say?

Xavier: No I’m also going to put it in a report and one of my team will make a pretty graph from it. We need to be agile about this.

Barry: Well the grapes come into me, Lorna here puts them in the wash machine and then Gavin packs the grapes whilst I forklift them into a truck.

Bettina: And what water do you use for cleaning the grapes?

Xavier: Great question Bettina, I like your thinking

Barry: Well we used to use Evian but now we use Peckham Spring

Xavier: Interesting, interesting, I’m not quite aware of that brand

Lorna: It’s excellent Mr Turnbull, sorry Xavier. It can wash several grapes at the same time

Sebastian: And where does the truck come in? Is there ever any spillage?

Xavier: Terrific question Sebastian, yes how do the grapes come in? Is there any spillage?

Gavin: Over there and no

Sebastian: And what if we moved the machine from there to here, so the truck can come to this point?

Kevin: Why?

Sebastian: Saving fuel

Xavier: Exactly Sebastian great point, and we are all totally into saving the planet in our company. We are for the next generation.

Lorna: Probably because we’d need to build a new docking station using cement that came from a factory in China that pumped out CO2 into the atmosphere before loading the cement onto a ship with large motors pumping out more pollution, not to mention the transportation from the dock to the wholesaler, retailer and eventually the customer

Xavier: Yes I think you are not quite seeing the bigger picture here

Lorna: How?

Xavier: Ha well I haven’t got all day to explain it to you

Oliver: And is your forklift truck electric, petrol or diesel based Mr…

Barry: Hitherington-Smythe

FX: Lorna and Gavin stifle a laugh with a coughing sound

Oliver: Mr Hitherington-Smythe.

Barry: Electric

Xavier: Well that’s great news, and I’m glad to see you guys think the same way as us

Barry: We’re like twins.

Xavier: Ha, sure

Bettina: And what about tea breaks? How often are those?

Gavin: Well we celebrate Christmas once a year so we treat ourselves to tea then

Xavier: Well that’s great news, team, that doesn’t seem excessive at all

Kevin: Sometimes we even have a jammie dodger

Xavier: Now lets just focus on that jammie dodger. Who brings in the jammie dodgers? And is that during work time?

Lorna: I get them during my lunchtime from the petty cash tin

Xavier: Great, great, now we’re getting somewhere. Where is that cash tin based?

Mr Potts: In my office

Xavier: Right, well what are we thinking team?

Sebastian: How much is in the tin?

Gavin: A fiver

Oliver: and how much is a packet of Jammie dodgers?

Xavier: And you have never thought to have Vanilla Creams?

Barry: No

Xavier: Why not? I love Vanilla Creams

Barry: We don’t

Xavier: OK, OK well I can’t push the point, but I’m wondering you know if Jammie dodgers is the most efficient use of that fiver?

Gavin: Well we sometimes save on toilet paper

Xavier: Excellent news! Did you hear that team? These guys are really thinking. So how do you save on your paper?

Gavin: We occasionally get these reports sent to us from Head Off…Ouch!

Mr Potts: Sorry Gavin, these muscle spasms in my arm are coming back.

Xavier: I’m so sorry Mr Potts, you better see a specialist we wouldn’t want that habit to get in the way of any of your efficient business processes would we?

Mr Potts: No Mr Turnbull we would not

Xavier: Xavier please, exactly so, exactly so. Well team have we got enough material here?

Sebastian: I think so

Xavier: Then it’s time to crank up the highly efficient software and show you guys some amazing graphs

Barry: Can’t wait

Xavier: You better believe it.

Barry: Do you mind if I ask a question?

Xavier: Go for it Mr Hitherington-Smythe

Barry: How much are you charging for this?

Xavier: Ha well you don’t need to worry about that, whatever we charge you’ll make up for in loads of savings in efficiency

Gavin: Well yes we’ll have toilet paper for year…ouch