Arabella: Look Papa look, there’s a horrible monster stumbling our way
Father: Ah Arabella, what luck. Now smile your pretty smile for the man. With any luck you’ll catch his eye
Arabella: I don’t want to Papa, he looks frightful.
Father: No Arabella, he’s a Habsburg, from the most powerful and wealthy family in all of Europe. Try and make a good impression
Arabella: It won’t matter Papa, we aren’t nearly rich or closely related enough to attract his attention
Father: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say his famous jaw dropped upon seeing you
Arabella: He can’t help that Papa. Oh dear he’s coming our way.
Father: Flirt my little Arabella, the connections alone would secure us
Charles Habsburg: Hood Orning
Father: Ah Charles of Spain. It could be described as an awning or a hood you are quite right, but I usually call it a hat
Arabella: No, Papa. Good Morning your Grace, so wonderful to see your fine figure today
Father: Apologies your Grace, I was a little confused
Charles: Who have a ratty aisle
Father: I will find out your Grace but the land should no longer be infested with vermin after the last plague
Arabella: I thank you for your compliments Sir, it has been said before that I have a pretty smile
Father: Ah Sorry your Grace, my hearing you know, isnt’ quite what it was
Charles: ret me ive ou a rift
Father: Why sir? We have no intention to offend. Trust me there is no rift on our part
Arabella: Why your Grace, it is not necessary to give me a gift, merely favouring me with your attention is enough to warm my heart
Father: Ah yes, indeed. An interesting turn of phrase
Charles: I want to ive you a cock in your its
Father: I beg your pardon! How dare…
Arabella: Why kind Sir, I will only accept your locket for keeps if it has your miniature in it. Or a soft curly lock of your hair
Father: Well that’s most kind I dare say
Charles: tis fanny to rifle
Father: You fiend! My daughter is not for sale!
Arabella: I know tis merely a trifle, but it would mean a great deal to me.
Father: Ah yes it would mean a great deal to us both. Such a fiend, that man over there, be wary of him your grace
Charles: Thou ‘eat flushes turn me ard thou unruly disgrace
Father: Bloody disgraceful indeed this talk
Arabella: How sweet that my blushes warm your heart, am I truly fair of face?
Father: Ah, what kind words, now they are unraveled for my somewhat burning ears
Charles: I want to ‘avish your arse end & ‘ussy then rest on your fair hair
Father: Why Sir I’m going to give you the soundest thrashing of your…
Arabella: Sir there is no need to lavish me a garland of poesy to rest on my fair hair
Father: Good grief! Sir we are most grateful to you for flattering my daughter however she is unfortunately betrothed to another
Arabella: Am I?
Father: Yes Arabella, I’m sure my health could not survive this courtship
Charles: That is ‘ost unfortunate
Father: Well I understood that
Charles: I will ‘id you ‘ood day
Father: And a Good Day to you too Sir
Advisor: Well Sir Charles, how was your attentions received?
Charles: Not ‘rominsing
Advisor: Indeed? But you’re a Habsburg. Were you misunderstood again?
Charles: ‘Ompletely. The father seemed to understand, hut his daughter? Not at all